Keep Sentences Short And Simple

Run-on sentences are deadly. A long sentence usually means that the author is trying to combine several different thoughts. Splitting them up is often advantageous in that it forces the author to focus on the fogginess of the individual ideas. In any event shorter, one-thought sentences greatly aid comprehension of the reader. There is no hard and fast rule as to how long sentences should be, sentences in excess of forty words should definitely flash a warning sign, as should sentences with more than three or four commas.

A powerful way to simplify the text is to reduce the number of words. Say "to prevent" rather than "in order to prevent". Say "lubricant" rather than "lubricating medium". Also, leave out unnecessary description. Instead of saying "which mechanically attaches firmly to the drill stem and directly adjacent to the lower end of the drill stem or bit coupling hub" just say "which mechanically attaches adjacent the lower end of the drill stem".

Employing multiple terms to describe the same thing is a clear warning sign that the terms being used are too complicated. If the proper language is "drill stem guide assembly" then always call it the "drill stem guide assembly". Don't start substituting the "drill stem guide device", the "drill stem guide" or "the assembly". If a patent attorney finds that he is taking that tack, then he should seriously consider using the simpler language. Unless one really needs to say "drill stem guide assembly", it is better to call out the item as a "drill stem guide" or perhaps a "guide".

Another trick is to avoid long strings of adjectives. Rather than referring to an element as "a floating stem guide bearing ring", refer to the item as simple a guide bearing ring, and clarify that the guide bearing ring preferably floats with respect to... "

Often, entire sentences can be simplified. The following is excessively verbose:

Materials or molecules that absorb fluids are versatile, and can be utilized in many applications. Some examples of products used to absorb fluids include paper towels, diapers, sponges, and surgical pads and gauzes. In many of these applications, the more absorbent a product is, the more desirable that product becomes. That may be true for several reasons, including increasing efficiency, reducing environmental waste, convenience, and reducing costs.

The same thing can be stated in a simpler manner:

Materials or molecules that absorb fluids are quite versatile. Commonly used absorbent products include paper towels, diapers, sponges, and surgical pads and gauzes. In general, greater absorbency is more desirable due to increased efficiency and convenience, and reduced environmental waste and cost.

Here is another example. The text is confusingly worded, with no stylistic, conceptual or other benefit.

In systems wherein the filtration units are separated by anti translation devices ("ATDs") and/or other connectors, it is contemplated that it can be advantageous to include any monitoring units, flow control apparatus, and/or pressure control apparatus in or near such ATDs and connectors, particularly when such ATDs and connectors are used to route water within the system.

The very same concepts are better worded using simpler language, and two sentences. Note that the revised text still uses passive voice ("can advantageously be placed"), but that usage has become accepted through decades of use.

Position monitoring units, flow control apparatus, pressure control apparatus and/or other connectors can advantageously be placed in or near anti translation devices ("ATDs"). This is especially true where the connectors are used to route water within the system.

At the risk of beating the horse to death, here is yet another example. The following text is just pathetic, especially where the author repeats the confusing phrase "Being able to...."

The present invention is directed to a water filtration system comprising a plurality of filtration units wherein the flow of feed water to the filtration units can be monitored and can be controlled such that the flow of feed water to individual units or to subsets of units can be determined, and can increased or decreased, possibly independently of the overall flow of feed water through the system. Being able to control flow to filtration subunits allows compensation for changes in efficiency of the filtration units over time. Being able to monitor the flow into subunits allows for identification of units that are in need of replacement.

The following language is much clearer:

The present invention is directed to a water filtration system comprising a plurality of serially disposed filtration units, in which the flow of feed water to individual filtration units can be monitored and controlled. Among other things the ability to monitor and control the individual flows allows an operator to compensate for changes in efficiency of the filtration units over time. In extreme cases, flow to downstream units can be terminated entirely where such units are in need of replacement.